Greetings from St. Joseph Parish and congratulations on your decision to enter into Christian marriage.
 
In the Christian tradition, marriage is a gift of the creator and a vocation.  As such, we see it as a calling from God and a calling to a special relationship with God and your spouse, characterized by mutual and lasting love.  The response to this call is indeed a serious one.  Therefore, as pastor of the Parish, it is my privilege and duty to assist couples in preparation for this great vocation in their lives.  Our staff is prepared to assist you in any way we can.
 
Further, there are guidelines given by the Archbishop to be followed in preparation for this sacrament.  In view of this, we offer the following to assist couples in preparing for marriage at St. Joseph Parish.
 
Rev. Mathew Cheruparambil
Pastor

If you are a member of St. Joseph Parish, simply contact one of the priests to make arrangements for your wedding.  An initial meeting will be scheduled with the priest to outline the program of marriage preparation in the Archdiocese of St. Louis and the specifics for weddings in our parish church.  You can also clarify any questions you may have at that time.

or
 
If you are NOT a member of St. Joseph Parish, then you must obtain the written permission of the Pastor of the parish of either the bride or groom if both are Catholic.  If only one of you is Catholic, then written permission of the Pastor of the Catholic party is required.

OFFICIATING PRIEST OR DEACON

You must secure a priest or deacon to officiate at your wedding. This can be any priest or deacon with faculties from a bishop.  St. Joseph does not automatically furnish a priest or deacon for non-parishioners.  One of our parish priests might be approached; however, their first obligation is to the people of St. Joseph Parish.

The officiating priest/deacon assumes the following responsibilities:
· Ensuring that the couple completes the Foccus.
· Ensuring that the couple participates in an approved “Preparing for Christian Marriage” program.
· Completes pre-nuptial investigation.
· Ensuring that the couple participates in a Natural Family Planning program
· Assures that the marriage license is completed and returned.
· Is present for the rehearsal (unless another arrangement is made with the wedding coordinator).

SCHEDULING

1. To begin the process, call the Parish Office at least six months in advance.

2. You may schedule your wedding on a Friday evening or Saturday.  Wedding times on Saturday are 11:00 am and 1:00 pm.  It is also possible to arrange a weekday wedding.  Sunday weddings are allowed only by rare exception.

3. A changing room is available for the bride and bridesmaids.  We ask that the groom and groomsmen come dressed for the wedding.  You and your party may arrive for your wedding one-hour before the time of the celebration.  The person conducting the rehearsal will show you the area.
 
The time allotted for the use of the church is two hours. 
11:00 am wedding:  10:30 am – 12:30 pm
1:00 pm wedding:    12:30 pm – 2:30 pm
Any exceptions are to be cleared with the wedding coordinator.

OFFERING TO THE PARISH

The offering to the parish for a wedding at St. Joseph is $500.00 for parishioners, and $600.00 for non-parishioners.  We are grateful to those whose sacrifices and hard work have provided us with this beautiful place of worship and liturgical celebrations.  We want to maintain this church in the spirit of those who have built and renovated it over the years.  Your offering will be a contribution to this as well as cover the expenses of the wedding itself in the church. 

Please make your checks payable to:  St. Joseph Parish, 567 St. Joseph Lane, Manchester, MO 63021.  This offering is to be given to the officiating priest or deacon, or to the wedding coordinator, at the rehearsal, or it may be mailed in to the parish office prior to the rehearsal.

OFFERING TO THE PRIEST

It will be up to you as a couple to decide if a separate offering will be made in a gesture of gratitude to the officiating priest or deacon for his time and efforts preparing you for your marriage and wedding.   If you would like the priest or deacon to attend the rehearsal dinner and/or wedding reception, please take time to personally invite him.

WEDDING COORDINATOR

St. Joseph Parish provides a wedding coordinator for all weddings at our parish.  The coordinator will contact the bride prior to the wedding to make sure that all is prepared for the wedding day. The coordinator will also go over guidelines for the wedding celebration.  The coordinator will be present at the rehearsal and wedding to assist in the practical details of the wedding itself so that all involved will have a sense of their roles and duties.

Please feel free to contact the coordinator, David Broemmelsic at 636-227-5247 ext 1023 or  [email protected]  with your questions or concerns.  The coordinator will provide assistance to you and those involved in and attending the wedding.

A Catholic Church is truly a special place for us.  It is for us the “house of God and God’s People.”  It is the place where we celebrate the sacraments of our faith, where we reserve the Blessed Sacrament, where we gather for worship and prayer.  We believe that a spirit of reverence should characterize our time in church. We ask that all who attend the wedding respect this.  It is especially irreverent to eat and drink in our church or vestibule. Further, we insist that no alcoholic beverages be consumed or flammable items be used on parish property.  Throwing rice, bird seed, or confetti is not permitted anywhere on the grounds.  The dropping of flower petals is also not permitted unless you agree to see that all are picked up after the wedding.

In 1982, the Archbishop of St. Louis, together with the other Bishops in the state of Missouri, implemented a common policy of marriage preparation.  The priest or deacon who will witness your marriage will give you complete details of the program.  It will involve:
 
1. Preliminary assessment of readiness for marriage through the Instrument called Foccus.
2. Participation in at least one of a number of different marriage preparation programs sponsored by the Archdiocese or your parish.
3. Meeting with the priest to discuss the nature of Christian marriage, and completing necessary paperwork.

Your wedding celebration will have some facets that are
unique because each couple is unique.  Other aspects of the wedding will reflect the age-old tradition of the Church.  

There will be readings, blessings, and prayers that allow you, your families, and friends to celebrate together.  All these elements will constitute a day for you to remember. To assist you in the planning of your wedding liturgy, please consult the booklet, Together for Life, which contains options for prayers, readings and blessings, as well as an outline to assist you in planning the liturgy.  A copy of this booklet will be provided by the officiating priest or deacon when you meet with him.

WEDDING LITURGY

Because the Eucharist is the central prayer and worship of the Church, a wedding between two practicing Catholics is ordinarily celebrated during a Eucharistic Liturgy (Mass).  If one of you is NOT Catholic, the Rite of Marriage will ordinarily take place within a service of Scripture readings and prayer, and not a Mass.  Please consult the priest/deacon about any questions in this regard.

Whomever you ask to officiate must accept the responsibility for sharing in your marriage preparation, as outlined above in the section on “OFFICIATING PRIEST OR DEACON.”

DECORATIONS

The architecture of our church is simple by design and does not invite much decoration.  When arranging for flowers,  etc., please take into consideration the setting and the liturgical season of the Church Year.
 
The following items might be helpful in your planning:
1. Flowers purchased for the church, are expected to be left in the church.  The liturgical documents specify real flowers instead of artificial.   Take the Liturgical Season into account; certain flowers/plants are more acceptable at certain times of the year.  For example, we do not put out poinsettias until Christmas Day (never before).  You may  inquire about the seasonal church environment by calling the Worship Coordinator 636-227-5247.
2. The main aisle has twenty rows of pews.  The seating capacity of our church is 1,000.
3. Runners are not allowed.  They are a safety hazard.
4. We do have a unity candle stand, which holds a 3 inch center candle, and two tapers.
5. Bows may be put on the center aisle pews.  Please do not use tape to fasten them.  There are 20 rows of pews (Some have used heavy wire pipe cleaners or large rubber bands.)
6. We have different height plant stands for your flowers.

 WEDDING PARTY

The arrangement of the bridal party during the wedding is as follows:
· Bride and groom are on kneelers in the sanctuary.
· The best man and maid of honor can be in the sanctuary or in the first pew with the other members of the bridal party, whichever the bride and groom prefer.
The bridal party is in the front pew.  At the discretion of the priest/deacon, the bridal party is invited to come into
the sanctuary for the wedding ceremony.  They return to the pews afterward.
· Flower girls and ring bearers sit in the pews with an adult.

REHEARSAL

Before scheduling the rehearsal, consult the officiating priest.  If the priest is not from St. Joseph staff, the date and time for the rehearsal must be cleared through the Parish Office.  These arrangements may be made by calling 636-227-5247 Monday through Thursday 8:30 am to 4:30 pm or Friday 8:30 am – 3:30 pm.  Please bring to the rehearsal your Missouri license of marriage; if you have not already done so, your liturgy planning pages (from the “Together for Life” book); and the candles for the unity candle (if you are doing this ceremony.)

MUSIC

Wedding music should always be appropriate to the liturgical setting.  The words and music should support and enhance, rather than divert or interrupt the Liturgy.  It should assist the assembled to express and share the gift of faith.  Here are three questions to guide your musical selections:  Is it prayerful?  Is it accessible (Will it encourage the assembly to sing)?  Is it beautiful?  Answering these will lead you to the many wonderful selections for weddings in the Church’s repertoire.
St. Joseph Parish has several talented musicians who are able to help with the musical portion of your wedding celebration including organists, pianists, cantors, and vocalists. Contact Catherine Mack for a list.
The fee for the musicians is set by the musician and paid directly to them.  You are free to bring your own musicians provided they stay within the guidelines of appropriate wedding liturgy music.
 
 If you are bringing in “outside” musicians, make sure that they are knowledgeable about the Catholic ceremony, and if
the musician is planning to use the organ, please ask that they check with our worship coordinator, Susan Grimm ([email protected]) about the operation of the organ.

PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEOGRAPHY

 Videographers and photographers are to check with the officiating priest/deacon and wedding coordinator prior to the wedding in order to observe their directives and the policies of the parish
· Videographers and photographers are NEVER allowed in the sanctuary (the brick floor section).
· No posed pictures in the church prior to the wedding.
· Posed pictures in the church are allowed after the wedding.  They must be completed in the time allowed by the wedding coordinator.  Ask the photographer to check with the wedding coordinator before beginning the session.
· Pictures may be taken in the courtyard before or after the ceremony.
· Pictures are allowed during the ceremony itself. The use of flash photography is allowed during the procession and recession. The use of flash photography during the ceremony is at the discretion of the presiding priest/deacon.

ALTAR SERVERS

Please check with the priest or deacon officiating at your wedding concerning altar servers.  The parish is happy to provide them.  Please inform the wedding coordinator if you want us to provide servers.  It is customary to give them an offering of $20.00 each.